The Metamorphosis of Racists

9:32 PM
Reygadas: yo, i want sbarrros n***a
Almodóvar : you know there was a protest by shop owners in Barcelona recently to not allow the selling of sombreros in Pakistani shops
bc peops were buying thinkin they were Spanish
Reygadas: damn
Almodóvar : ive been here for three months and i still think they are.
i also think all Spanish people come from Native Americans
i ask them if their grandparents are "mayan" ..
and i do the finger quotes
Reygadas: ha ha
that really gets the blood boiling
you sit down in a restaurant and loudly wonder where the chalupas are
9:34 PM
Almodóvar : i always ask for a glass of Corona and a Mexican Pizza, if they dont understand I say, "oh, sorry, a number 8 please"
9:35 PM
Reygadas: HA
every country every race has someone to hate
we should all be swiss
the only thing they hate is assymetry
Almodóvar : and war
9:36 PM
Reygadas: and fun ... now that i think about it
i can't think of anyone buying sombreros in spain
except horribly racist college students having "beaner parties"
at BU
(Barcelona U)
9:38 PM
Almodóvar : yea thats the problem, its brtis buying little sombrero thingeys at shops and sending them home to mom. "hi from Spain" with a postcard of Zapata

Psychopathia Sexualis

3:44 PM Araki: sex sells is an american phrase but Europeans are the only ones whove taken it to heart

3:46 PM Itami: they're so bored of being tittilated

throwing a tit or an ass in there is like picking out a font

Araki: word

3:47 PM its the Japs that really are nailin it these days. no longer under the blade of samurai sword, their sexuality skipped 400 years straight to the future: pee pee and poo poo with tons of giggling all the way home

3:48 PM Itami: call me prude

3:49 PM i dont think i could ever acquire the taste of an octopus tentacle tickling my asshole while sex-ing

i just want clean sheets and the lights off

tasteful music

3:50 PM Araki: what one might in other terms refer to as "japanese"

theyve just gone and confused everything

how can you eat and fuck sushi?

3:51 PM Itami: right

i wish modern japan had existed when freud was around

he would have had a field day

maybe his own TV talk show

the 1st thing i'm doing when i invent time travel is go back and show Freud 2 Girls 1 Cup

3:52 PM Araki: hahahahaha

Laughing All The Way To The Bank

BernieMadoff: take a pic of yourself wearing only that and an ipod

GordieGekko: ha ha

BernieMadoff: and date it!

GordieGekko: for posterity

10:22 AM BernieMadoff: exactly.

GordieGekko: i'll hold up a copy of the new york times

like terrorists do to prove daniel pearl is still alive

10:23 AM BernieMadoff: and send it to mark hunter

or is it marc

10:24 AM GordieGekko: i just don't want him raffling it off at one of his fag garage sale

s

BernieMadoff: ha

GordieGekko: it's unconscionable (sp?) to give party photogs any more money than they already receive

BernieMadoff: oh my word. do people do that?

10:25 AM i thought it was just their shit

GordieGekko: i think it's all free schwag he gets

then sells to these echo park guppies

BernieMadoff: hes the kind of celeb that still begs for pussy

10:27 AM GordieGekko: do you think he bangs models?

or future models that are still in jr high school

10:28 AM BernieMadoff: i think he fucks their default uglier friend. while they flirt with the guy from MSTRKRFT

GordieGekko: talk about a rock and a hard place

BernieMadoff: but he comes super quickly and blames it on all the blow he and Aoki do

10:29 AM GordieGekko: I blame my premature ejac on Aoki and Hunter

It's just so plausible

Then we discuss the gentrification of bushwick as we smoke a cigarette

BernieMadoff: i blame it on the current state of the economy

10:30 AM like im in the market

i had a bad quarter

GordieGekko: i can't concentrate on fucking when i'm thinking about my bomb cover letter
BernieMadoff: "sorry, can we do this later, im just very focused on my OBJECTIVE this evening"

Portrait of the Artist: prt 2.

4:01 PM
JulesSchnabel: yeah
like you can't write a great novel on a typewriter if you can afford a word processor
quit trying to be a romantic asshole
4:03 PM
GuvnorKlimt: this is very true
the last time i fucked around on a typewriter i felt like i had cerebral paulsy
4:04 PM
JulesSchnabel: it's like wearing sunglasses indoors
GuvnorKlimt: ha
you have to be a drunk to think thats a good way to produce anything
4:06 PM
JulesSchnabel: yeah
you can't afford a dell inspiron but you can afford the secretary
that's going to make 20 carbons for random house

Portrait of the Artist

2:32 PM JulesSchnabel: when are we getting our first facebook president

cant wait for the GOP to dig up pics of my boy holding a red plastic solo cup in every goddamn photo

2:33 PM GuvnorKlimt: ha

2:34 PM when i get rich im getting a sarcophagus
bed

JulesSchnabel: rachel gets buried alive with you

2:35 PM GuvnorKlimt: exactly

and you

im bringin my whole crew

JulesSchnabel: fuck

i guess i am living longer considering how i've spent more of my life eating tofu than you have

2:36 PM GuvnorKlimt: i just dont think i want to do this for all that long

its fuckin tiring

2:37 PM i just got back from the Picasso museum, excuse my negativity. I just have this urge to beat women

2:38 PM JulesSchnabel: that's part and parcel of being a genius, unfortch

2:39 PM GuvnorKlimt: seriously, why do movies like Wedding Crashers portray the kid brother as a gay pussy bc hes an artist. he should be beating women, beating RAchel McAdams

2:41 PM JulesSchnabel: right

walking into andy warhol's studio and pissing in the fireplace

calling Velvet underground a bunch of faggots

GuvnorKlimt: exaclty

2:42 PM JulesSchnabel: artists are hard

The Inauguration Report

Jay-Z My President is black Remix LIVE 1-18-09 from pleasedontstare on Vimeo.

Itzhak Perlman: id tap Malia Obama
Yo YO Ma: ha
now guess who's coming to dinner
Itzhak Perlman: "this is cuyler. he forgot to vote, but hes really sweet (and white)"
Yo YO Ma: are you live podcasting the inauguration?
Itzhak Perlman: yea
Yo YO Ma: ha ha
Itzhak Perlman: george´s mental monologue is "pheww, so what should i do later?"
Yo YO Ma: he's taking a road trip to big bear to go snowboarding
Itzhak Perlman: your office watchin?
Yo YO Ma: yeah
CNN on the flat screen
our first "hi def president"
Yo YO Ma: so so def

Richer Than God

AnhQuanCarnegie: i saw this UNREAL penthouse apt in NoLita

HyramDRockefeller: where that?

12:33 PM AnhQuanCarnegie: near the east village

rich israelis with great taste

HyramDRockefeller: nice, so you movin?

AnhQuanCarnegie: concocting a plan to leave my semen everywhere so i can wedlock into the family

12:34 PM HyramDRockefeller: why were you there? conducting a circumcision?

12:35 PM AnhQuanCarnegie: this girl dexter knows was house sitting

it's one of those places where if you try bringing a bottle of wine under $40 dollars into the house it spontaneously combusts in your hands

12:36 PM HyramDRockefeller: haha

12:37 PM AnhQuanCarnegie: when we found the sauna it was like the jews finding the holy land

12:38 PM HyramDRockefeller: dont you think we make jokes that are too "rich" for us?

12:39 PM i feel like i make 165k/year every time we talk

12:40 PM both of our immigrant grandparents would be ashamed. yours specifically, so serious probably.

12:41 PM AnhQuanCarnegie: too educated for our socio-econ status

HyramDRockefeller: shoulda gone to Chico.

Just Another Day at the Office

4:20am (bitch)
______________________

Mickey: i'm playing wimbledon final against a hangover
Rourke: im watchin wimbledon starring Paul Bettany
Mickey: I got jamaal onto blognigger
Mickey: i prefaced by saying, "I want to show you this blog and I'm pretty sure your friends know it but they don't have the balls to tell you about it"
Rourke: then did you ask if his dick is really that big?
Mickey: ha ha ha

Fashion Terrorists

11:30 AM JohnGaylliano: i feel like i didnt "get" fashion until skinny jeans were invented

TomBored: even though i dont wear them, i agree

11:31 AM JohnGaylliano: i can wear normal pants now -- i'm "with it"

just needed those fashion training wheels so to say

TomBored: i opt for the 514 over the 511. which actually makes the transition to pants easier

JohnGaylliano: ha ha

im still wearing jeans that are dyed like khakis

11:32 AM TomBored: ha

JohnGaylliano: hoping to make the jump in second fiscal quarter of 09

TomBored: ha

11:33 AM i think it, for me, was just a matter of waiting until pants started being cut for sneakers instead of brogues. bc i dont think ill ever make the transistion to real shoes, or boots. i feel like i take everything too seriously if i wear leather on my feet that long

11:34 AM like "can i listen to the new Nas while wearing Clarks?"

or can i smoke weed anymore?

should i start wearing condoms?

11:35 AM JohnGaylliano: "do i really need to look in random peoples medicine cabinets when takin a simple piss?"

11:36 AM TomBored: "will i ever investigate what that actually is on my inner thigh?"

JohnGaylliano: oh

11:37 AM just to show you how laid i am getting -- and consequentially how arrogant i am

http://www.urbanoutfitters.com/urban/catalog/productdetail.jsp?itemdescription=true&itemCount=10&startValue=1&selectedProductColor=&sortby=&id=15029622&parentid=M_SHOES_CASUAL&sortProperties=+product.marketingPriority,-product.startDate&navCount=12&navAction=poppushpush&color=

have somehow summoned the courage to wear these every day

even at work

TomBored: fuck you