Thursday, February 26, 2009


11:58 AM McEnroe: lets go to the US open next year
a match that is
Connors: i'm in
McEnroe: we can go dressed in our best safari gear
11:59 AM i was walking down the street to go buy this new jacket the other day with Rach´s mom. she pointed into a store window and said, what about that one, its nice. i said "any store that has a safari hat in its window display is out of my price range"
12:00 PM Connors: yeah
you look up and it's The Ralph Lauren Purple Label collection
some Jewish guy's WASP fantasy
12:01 PM McEnroe: i walked by a huge gallery the other day. it was actually Burberry
its fucking disturbing
how can a jacket that weighs 23 ounces be €750?
12:02 PM Connors: yeah
you're like, "is this woven from God's cunt hairs?"
McEnroe: hah
hey were the grammies on last night?
12:03 PM Connors: i dont think they put anything worth watching up against the Super Bowl
McEnroe: oh right
Connors: not even an episode of LOST where they explain everything in forty five minutes
12:04 PM McEnroe: haha

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Wanted: Pilot. No Landing Skills Necessary

Newark: im applying to this job right now
1:18 PM LaGuardia: i dont think your definition of "wonderful personality" is the same as theirs
1:19 PM Newark: im with Alex and we were thinkin maybe its gonna be a "take this black audi to this location, leave the keys in the tire well, and walk away" after which i would reply, "and the money?"
LaGuardia: ha ha
1:20 PM "is there room for advancement within the company?"

5 hours
5:44 PM Newark: thatt driving job was a scam
5:45 PM LaGuardia: did they email you back?
5:46 PM Newark: yea
one of those standard ESL emails detailing that i would be paid a large sum of money if i give them my info
$700 a week
3 jobs
5:47 PM a week
for 3 weeks
im gonna send back an attached picture of the Trade Towers burning down, and ask if theyre down?

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

World's Fair: 2009

6:22 PM
Taro Aso: you still promoting sectarian violence abroad?
Ehud Olmert: im conducting violent raids of my liver domestically now
Taro Aso: J&B WMDs

The Gaytorialist

SamMenendes: im debating on whether to see Revolutionary Road dubbed en espaƱol tonight1:04 PM AlanBallin: dubbing
say what you want about america
SamMenendes: i know..
AlanBallin: but at least we dont do that
SamMenendes: its terrible
1:05 PM its like tagging a Diego Rivera mural
1:06 PM AlanBallin: it's like facebook tagging a DR mural
SamMenendes: haha
AlanBallin: (arrows pointing to the workers rising up against the CAP I TA LEEST macheen)
1:09 PM funny story
1:10 PM yesterday i got mistaken for the designer who made Michelle Obama's inauguration ball gown
by two old ladies who used to work for VOGUE
i said "No" in my basso profundo
and they cowered in the shadow of my preening heterosexuality
1:11 PM SamMenendes: really
were you silk screening in a loft
1:12 PM ?
1:14 PM AlanBallin: no
just had the misfortune of wearing a perfectly fitted blazer at a fashion photography exhibit
1:19 PM when a girl finds out youre not gay (just happen to own a pair of polished prada chelsea boots) she gets so excited like she just got admitted to Brown on appeal

Friday, February 6, 2009

Land Without Bread

11:12 AM Cortes: so when Rachel and her friend went to Portugal a month ago, i met some dude out one night and we got drunk and talked and all that. the next he came by and smoked me out. mind you hes a yank from New Orleans living in SF
the day he left, he left a copy of Mischner´s "Iberia" on my doorstep
you heard of it?
Pisarro: have not
11:13 AM Cortes: any way, its some seminal text on Spain, written in the sixties by some whitey from Penn. he told me to write him when i finished it whith what i think, bc hes SO into it.
turns out its about one of the most racist things ive read
11:14 AM so colonial sounding
its like the journal of Bartolome de Las Casas
you can look that up`if you need
Pisarro: i will
racist in which way and against who?
11:15 AM Cortes: an example.
"the spaniard peasants who i encountered had leathered skin and even their best clothes were torn. but they were each more handsome than the last"
shit like that
i mean it was like ´55
not 1492
anyway, im not sure what to write this guy
Pisarro: its like when conrad writes about the high cheekboned savages with their skin like obsidian
11:17 AM it's like, did someone just say "black muscles"?
Cortes: i know
i was waiting for head measurements
i put it down after 50 pages
Pisarro: yeah
this is going to be a weird convo
"interesting book luke"
11:19 AM Cortes: exactly. i dont want to write him at all, but i always run into people i avoid. ill see him in the Mission next month
Pisarro: exactly
Cortes: ill just say i loved it, especially the parts about the gentle savages
11:20 AM Pisarro: i once went to a dinner not long ago and a girl asked me if i liked the film "Irreversible" I said I LOVED IT. Then, immediately thereafter, "well ahem, as much as anyone COULD like that movie ... i guess ... more wine?" (psst that movies is the bomb son)
11:21 AM Cortes: haha
its like admitting you like to be beaten during sex
Pisarro: you appreciate it for aesthetic reasons
11:22 AM "i really only get beaten for the articles"