Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Caesar Chavez Day Only Comes Once a Year

Julio: do you have tomorrow off, or is Caesar chavez only honored in white cities
4:59 PM Hugo: thats a luxury people from san luis obispo are allowed to enjoy
5:00 PM Julio: exactly, anyone who is poor enough not to know who he is, doesnt have the ability to celebrate him by getting drunk with their white friends
5:01 PM Hugo: the descedents of his farm labor initiatives all go to a public school that has Martin Luther King Jr. in the name
if you want to make sure your jr high school has good test scores
name that shit after warren buffett or some other rich, living millionaire
they will give a shit
5:03 PM Julio: The L Ron Hubbard School of Youth Advanced Placement and general Racism

5:05 PM Hugo: you know what i'm doing right now?
5:06 PM Julio: do i want to?

I Can't Believe I Own A Fucking iPhone

ChadKroeger: i cant believe i own a fucking iphone ive never had a piece of technology that was part of the current zeitgeist
ScottStapp: i wish i had one
5:00 PM turning my ipod off to answer my cell phone is soooo embarrassing
ChadKroeger: i feel bad that its ruining the spirit of the bar bet
5:01 PM
its like blood doping for bar trivia night
ScottStapp: i know ..
5:05 PM ChadKroeger: 'wait a sec ... imma ask God in my pocket how a proper spaghetti carbonara is made'
5:07 PM ScottStapp: finding a restaurant has lost all risk
im hungry, lets go there
"no It only has 3.5 stars on yelp"
5:09 PM ChadKroeger: i wonder if you could type in 'abortion' and then the little crosshairs thingie that GPS locates you
5:10 PM and all the clinics in a 1 mile radius
5:12 PM ScottStapp: or you just shove the iphone into you back and forth viscously

6 minutes
5:19 PM ChadKroeger: maybe theres an app for it
on itunes
5:20 PM ScottStapp: i searched, you just get redirected to Christian Rock groups
ChadKroeger: ha
5:21 PM ScottStapp: if you had an offer "drop everything and join the band Creed for two years, and get everything that comes along with it" would you?
ChadKroeger: Creed in their prime?
5:22 PM or Creed now
ScottStapp: well yea in their prime
ChadKroeger: who am i kidding
ScottStapp: haha

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Black, Handsome, I Sing ... Plus I'm RICH

1:05 PM SlumdogChamillionaire: the gayest straightest song ever recorded, and i fucking love it. id say heaphones a must http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUDHdzAOSmw

12 minutes
1:18 PM KarlBloggerfeld: its interesting that he sings about fucking to an album that only came out last year?
SlumdogChamillionaire: no, came out in "94 i think
its the album that has "bump and grind"
KarlBloggerfeld: oh yeah
youre right
1:19 PM theres also a r kelly called 12th play fourth quarter
SlumdogChamillionaire: but what woman in their right mind wants to fuck to R kelly in 2009?
KarlBloggerfeld: i guess the ones who were old enough to listen to him in 94
SlumdogChamillionaire: exactly
1:20 PM so in love with kelly tho, i mean the dream
but kanyes gay bc he wears "tight" jeans
1:21 PM KarlBloggerfeld: kanye is goin off the deep end
which i think is cool
1:22 PM SlumdogChamillionaire: i am so ready for the complete drop off. he makes a sex tape fucking a white boy, and then drops the Greatest album of all time
1:23 PM KarlBloggerfeld: exactly
its going to be a hot album coupled with sheer terror, making for a perfect listening experience
like Thriller
1:25 PM SlumdogChamillionaire: its gonna have a naked pic of Warhol on the cover
wearing a terradactile mask
1:26 PM KarlBloggerfeld: the only thing better would be for Kanye to die tragically of AIDs before the release
SlumdogChamillionaire: contracted through junk tho, not gay sex
1:27 PM KarlBloggerfeld: if only that were prove-able
1:28 PM SlumdogChamillionaire: he'll have tracks, a swollen asshole and an ipod on, playing the greatest song ever made
1:29 PM when they find him
1:31 PM gonna go incognito here

38 minutes
2:10 PM SlumdogChamillionaire: i want to hear a rapper interview where they say, "I only listen to gangsta rap, what kinda dumb fucking question is that? How am I suppose to listen to fucking Zepplin, them fuckin crackers suck dick."

Friday, March 13, 2009

Executive Producers

12:06 PM
Leonidas: Rachel has a video of you puking
i watched it last week
its the first page of my new graphic novel that hypothetically creates a world where we win the war in Nam
John Rolfe: word up
you can make a movie of it
i dont want my name in the credits but i'll take the check tho
12:09 PM
Leonidas: If i had three punches to any Hollywood chump, one would go to Zach Snyder
John Rolfe: who are the other two?
Leonidas: Charlize Theron and Tobey Macguire
John Rolfe: nice
solid picks
id do hilary swank
Leonidas: yea thatd be satisfying
John Rolfe: i dont think ill get flack for domestic abuse
Leonidas: no
John Rolfe: ill punch her ex husband too
just to rub it in
but when i tell people this anecdote, i'll conveniently forget to mention him
Leonidas: and the third?
12:13 PM
John Rolfe: Terrence Malick -- so i can get bizarre looks at one of ryland's house parties
Leonidas: haha
John Rolfe: theyre just impressed i was able to find him w/ out using a time machine

Monday, March 9, 2009

Knife Crime

Tony: are you still shaved headed?
Shane: yeah
4:29 PM I can't really fight too good, so if I end up with a black eye, I want to have a shaved head
it just looks better
it looks like, "hey he got in a fight"
not, "boy that dude got his ass kicked"
4:30 PM Tony: very true (if only from This is England)
4:31 PM Shane: the day i get stitches in my face, i'm going to the shoppe and buying black boots and red suspenders to complete the look
4:32 PM Tony: or the next time you feel like repressing your homosexuality
Shane: no
thats what rap music is for

4:34 PM Tony: I cant decide if I think Brits are generally tough or not?
4:35 PM for example: a friend of mine there got really mad at his other friend and headbutted him ... (tough)
... but then they both cried after (not so tough)
Shane: a bloke will stab you over there
no question
but he'll use a rapier
4:36 PM Tony: haha (sp)
and his shank is swiped clean by a Burberry Kerchief
4:38 PM Shane: All the gangsters drink tea
Michael fucking Caine drinks earl grey even
4:40 PM Tony: i guess they are very willing to throw down, but they cant help being milky creatures. you cant be that tough if youre completely amorphous
4:41 PM its like fighting Gogurt

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Blame It On Ron Howard

2:15 PM JamieFoxxxx: Ron Howard killed Tupac & Biggie
2:16 PM I read it in the smoking gun
2:17 PM T-Wayne: serio dude.
im so sick!
JamieFoxxxx: you caught the plague
T-Wayne: i cant lift my dick to pee
JamieFoxxxx: fuck
sorry guy
2:18 PM T-Wayne: its the kinda sick thatll convince a brother hes had aids for a while now
2:19 PM and this is gonna be the end
JamieFoxxxx: yeah true
like when you see a character in a movie don a trench and a knitted beanie
and he hasnt shaved
you automatically think AIDS
2:20 PM its shorthand
theyve used it in everything: Philadelphia
Before Night Falls
T-Wayne: that one virginia woolf movie with ed harris
JamieFoxxxx: exactly
2:21 PM i was thinking of that
T-Wayne: hey, i saw the international
JamieFoxxxx: really?
T-Wayne: pretty great seriously
JamieFoxxxx: what?>
you got to be kidding me
2:22 PM T-Wayne: no man, excellent director(ing)
JamieFoxxxx: Did Clive ever stop the International
or did he just get a Black Card for his troubles
2:23 PM T-Wayne: no
bad plot
2:24 PM terribly overdone plot
amazing shots and edits and light and guns
2:27 PM JamieFoxxxx: are there any ho's
or is it bourne supremacy
2:28 PM T-Wayne: bourne.
2:31 PM JamieFoxxxx: Nice I'll have to go see
if it's with a girl, i'll take her to the version that has Julia Roberts in it
2:32 PM directed by Steven Soderbergh's kid brother
2:33 PM T-Wayne: exactly
mr and mrs international