Monday, December 27, 2010

Still Life

[photo by Julian Tran]

Thursday, June 10, 2010


11:58 AM Beverly: back on that internet crack
i chatted for the first time in months a couple days ago
it was like getting out of prison
Elliot: were taking a break
were you taking a break
11:59 AM Beverly: yeah
i needed a minute to remember how to write complete sentences
Elliot: im really into talking about my "humors"
not sense of humor
Beverly: oh you mean that medieval shit
Elliot: but like the 4 humors
Beverly: yeah
the fluids
12:00 PM Elliot: yup
Beverly: where did you go to school
Elliot: i think they are color coordinated too
Beverly: if my bitch started talking about humors id prob marry her
12:01 PM Elliot: some girl wakes up in my bed and im reading a medieval surgery book and feeling around by my liver and nodding my head like "yea, ok"
Beverly: you're like
i think i need to get schedule a trepanning this monday
12:02 PM Elliot: then i ask if shed like some rabbit for breakfast
12:04 PM Beverly: medieval times are great
better than the renaissance
12:05 PM youve just got all this meat curing in a shed behind your hut
Elliot: we really took a weird step there
12:06 PM it was going fine
with the Greeks
and Egypt
running pretty smooth
suddenly we got involved in witch hunts and blood letting
12:07 PM Beverly: right yeah
"trial by jury" involves getting tied up and thrown into a lake to see if you float
12:08 PM Elliot: punishments were creative though
12:09 PM a sort of torture Renaissance
Beverly: yeah, that was a real craft
12:10 PM some of that stuff would make excellent furniture in kanye wests house
Elliot: Kanye fucks his Nubian queen (who would have been burned at the stake back then) on something 5,000 Moores were quartered on
12:11 PM Beverly: ha ha
12:12 PM Elliot: (and i think im out of medieval knowledge)
12:13 PM Beverly: alright
well i am always down to make a king charlemagne joke
12:15 PM Elliot: there are far too many ways that peeling a boiled egg can go wrong
Beverly: i just ate one of those fuckers
whats your method
12:16 PM Elliot: i think a lot depends on post boil
put it in ice water
or not, maybe refrigerate
maybe eat hot
12:17 PM but let me tell you, when some off the white sticks to the shell and I rip off a bit, exposing the yellow, I could kill a baby pig
Beverly: plenty of times i have made the mistake
of just peeling off the shell
but leaving that awful membrane
around it
its like biting into a david cronenberg movie
(early cronenberg)
12:18 PM Elliot: biting into a late cronenberg movie would be trying to eat a stainless steel fridge in a loft in Seattle