Thursday, December 18, 2008

Live Free or Die

3:39 PM
Guy Who Loves Tyler Durden: for the last four days ive lived off almonds olives chorizo wine and camels.
Guy Who Loves American Beauty: five major food groups
GWLTD: i only shit about every 72 hours
my metabolism is bored
GWLAB: im starting to think i cant take a shit without the aid of starbucks french blend
GWLTD: i think there should be lobbyists for not only the improvement of, but perfection of, every coffee shop bathroom
3:44 PM
GWLAB: like, the toilet should also be taken into consideration when giving a "is the toilet seat suitable for doing coke off of?"
like so
GWLTD: apt listings on Craigslist should be more bathroom minded too. 420 friendly is possibly the least helpful bit of info to provide. how about, you can hear each droplet of poop fall from my tiny girl asshole from every room in the house. or, jacking off in the shower is prohibited
useful shit
GWLAB: condoms must be tied off on the open end and placed into a plastic bag which must be also tied in a plastic bag and disposed of neatly and in an orderly fashion
3:52 PM
GWLTD: for every one night you bring home friends and are loud, thats one more time i remind you of the wireless bill,
GWLAB: couch is reserved monday through friday night for the express purpose of watching John and Kate Plus 8 (or Top Chef if I'm feeling a little adventurous) whilst eating Trix straight from the box
GWLTD: i am one of those people who somehow creates tonS of water just outside of the shower
3:56 PM

No comments:

Post a Comment